Wednesday, July 13, 2016

another day in the life..

hey friends! I thought about doing a day in the life yesterday (but it was cow appreciation day at chick fil a, and I think the last DIL blog was 2 years ago on cow appreciation day... so I didn't want them to be the same.. which they wouldn't be because last time I had a newborn baby and was crazy post partum  (hello hormones!!) and now my kids are 9,8,7,5,4 and 2! ugh.. they are so big when I type their ages out like that! :( not sure what all this day will entail but I promised myself that I would do it today. so, no turning back!

4:14am: my hubby kisses me goodbye as he heads out to work. I tell him that I love him and that he can drive the suburban today because the kids and I can just stay home. (his bug doesn't do well coming up our road, and the suburban is much better on his back AND since we don't need to go anywhere, I felt like I should be a sweet wife and offer.) he said, "awesome! great! thanks babe!" and walked into the kitchen to get his stuff. I roll over in bed, listening to him and remember that my purse is in the car. I stumble out of our room and into the kitchen (total zombie style with eyes shut and hair crazy) and ask him (while he is walking out with 2 full trash bags) to hand me my purse bc my meds are in it. I am believing that the Lord is healing me of my trigeminal neuralgia, but I still would hate to not have access to my meds just yet. I kiss him again as I am sure he is digging my morning breath and he leaves. He is a hard working man, that Billy D. I love him so.

4:18am I see a snickers bar on the counter that says to share with Drama Mama (which.. hello? is clearly me).. so I open it up and take a bite and then end up eating the whole thing while hopping back in bed. I wash it down with some tepid Gatorade that was on my nightstand.. breakfast of champions. I look at my phone and see that I replied a text to the wrong person last night and they responded after I fell asleep. does anyone else ever do that? I feel like this is a daily thing. so glad that it was just a random text about our evening and not anything important/personal. geez..

4:20 while I am on my phone, I check the weather, look at instagram, check on my sisters adoption site, and then read a blog and am encouraged by some scripture that I read. I look up different verses and passages and praying that God would use this season of my life to bring glory to His name. so often, I think about myself.. of what I'm going through and how I am ready for it to be over.. but for whatever reason, the healing hasn't come. God is still working and I want to be used by him. I think about the blood work that I had done on sunday after church and wonder if I will hear any results today. my TSH (thyroid functioning level) has been crazy. I think they like it to be between a 0-1, and last week it was an 83! I had thyroid cancer and 2 surgeries the end of last year and I have been on a synthetic hormone since then and I take it everyday like clock work. My levels were off earlier this year bc I was taking an iron supplement for anemia and the iron and synthroid were cancelling each other out, so my body wasn't getting either of them. My dr had said that he has never seen a functioning patient with a hemoglobin/iron saturation as low as mine and that I needed to have some iron infusions ASAP or that I may not make it. Bill also talked to another dr and he said that iron infusions are so dangerous and that if I did follow through with it, that it could kill me. (talk about a stressful situation!) we prayed and prayed and talked to a 3rd party hematologist/oncologist and did some research and felt a peace about having the iron infusions done. I had my first one and it was rough, they started the iv in my hand and after a couple of minutes, it felt like my hand was being crushed and all of the bones were breaking. I asked the nurse about it and she said that iron is made in your bone marrow and when your body has been depleated for so long and then all of a sudden you are introduced to iron, your bones absorb it as fast as they can just like a sponge soaking it all in. apparently the bones were working overtime trying to grab every last drop of iron from the iv and it was so painful. the procedure lasted several hours, then they sent me home to rest. after a few days, I came back for my second round of iron and I was blessed with the same sweet nurse. she put the iv in my arm this time and the procedure was amazing this time. no crushing bones.. no pain. praise the Lord! However, those infusions make me so sleepy. I feel like I could sleep for days after them.
 after a week or so, I went back to my dr to check my levels, and was so bummed that my iron was still low. he told me that he is pretty confident that I am losing blood somewhere internally faster than my body can replenish it. I made an appt with an obgyn to rule out anything girly and everything was perfect. my dr scheduled me to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy at the same time to check me out and both of those tests came back perfect. The gastro dr said that there was still one more test that he wanted to do. colonoscopies just test the large intestine and the endoscopy just checks your esophagus and stomach, but there is a new test called a PillCam that you swallow and it takes 7-8 pictures a second for 8 hours as it travels down your small intestine. I had this test done and after a week or so, I heard back from the dr that he saw several places on my small intestine that look like I could be losing blood. He called me in to chat about it and after he looks again at my images, he tells me that they aren't active (bleeding at the moment) and that he isn't 100% confident that this is where I am bleeding internally or where I am losing blood. to say that I was bummed would be an understatement.. I was hoping and believing that we finally had some answers, but God isn't revealing all of that to us just yet, so we are still waiting and still seeing drs.. but I am trying to be patient and trust in His sovereign plan for my life.
in the meantime, I developed a nerve disease called trigeminal neuralgia. random. no joke. most painful thing of my life. was in the ER 3 times in a week for it because no one knew what was happening. the right side of my face by my cheek, ear, jaw, teeth was in excruciating pain. ice would help temporarily but the pain would come right back. all day and all night I would use head bands to tie ice packs to my face and I would just cry and cry and cry. finally one of the er drs mentioned it to me and I saw a specialist who knew exactly what I was going through. I had an mri w/contrast to pinpoint the exact thing that is causing it. thankfully he has put me on some meds that have pretty much eliminated the pain! he tried something a few weeks ago and it was awful. the side effects were terrible, so we just decided to stay on the meds that I started with and they are working so well. I have been feeling great. now I just wait until I see a cardiology specialist that can help me decide if a pace maker is my best bet (which I have been told by 5 drs it is), and that appt is later this month.

6:32am I cannot believe that I stayed up and typed up this whole health chart. oh well.. now I have it documented for myself :)  I think im gonna try and sneak in some more sleep before the kiddos wake up.

8:15am I tossed and turned and was never able to go back to sleep. I hear jos and levi coming up the stairs. Adalyn is next. they immediately walk into the kitchen and start making themselves bowls of cereal. I hear Adalyn whining about something when she walks into my room and cries, "Josiah isn't letting me get 2 kinds of cereal! yesterday I had cheerios and lucky charms but he wont let me do it today." drama drama:) I walk into the kitchen and help pour the milk and get everybody's bowl situated. I pull out the meat from the fridge to start prepping for the crock pot for supper.

8:33 ella kate and miley walk upstairs for breakfast. they were down in their new room making signs that say, "no boys allowed" and "boys can not touch this!" We switched the rooms around yesterday. so the old boys room is now the girls new room and vice versa. they seem to love it! I need to switch their closets around at some point so that might be something that we tackle today. we don't have cable but the kids are allowed to watch cartoons on Netflix in the mornings and today they are arguing over who gets to pick the show. levi thinks its his turn and he wants to watch Justin Time, but Josiah has put on Justice League... levi and Adalyn have both already cried today and it isn't even 9am. maybe they didn't sleep as well as I had hoped in their new rooms. I grab me some frosted shredded mini wheats and lay back down. ain't nobody got time for that!

8:40am the house phone rings and levi answers it.. then he accidentally hangs up on them. caller id said it was my dr, so I call them back and they say my blood results have come back in and the dr needs to see me in the morning. I make an appt for 11 tomorrow. Adalyn comes and lays down with me and asks if she can scratch my back... umm, yes please! she scratches and practices her counting. she makes it all of the way to 100 and asks to start over. this is a learning lesson and I don't want to discourage a teachable moment, so I give her one of my arms to scratch to give that one spot on my back a break! ha! levi comes in bed and is begging me to let him go and wake titus up. I keep telling him no, but he is pleading his case by telling me how much he misses him.

9:37 I don't smell anything yet, so I walk into the kitchen and see that I never turned the crock pot on. thank you Jesus for letting me realize this now instead of at 5! I clean up the crumbs of cereal that the kids missed and fluff the pillows on the couches. all of the kids are playing in their rooms downstairs.

9:50 I go and make my bed when my mom calls. I talk to her for a few minutes when levi comes back up to me and asks if he can wake up the baby now. I tell him that he can.. he smiles and shouts, "YES!!" and jumps down the stairs.

10:15 I hop in the shower to wash my hair.

10:22 my friend whitney texts me and tells me that she is gonna swing by in a few. levi hurts his finger. I kiss it and make it better and start fixing everyone's hair. I change titus' diaper and get him some breakfast to eat at the table.

10:40 I start blowdrying my hair and titus comes in my room and sits in my lap while I do it. the other kids are brushing their teeth in my bathroom.

11:05 whitney walks into my room and we hang for a bit. she brings her little boy eli with her and he and titus play. the bigger kids show off their "new rooms" to her and then show us the American Ninja Warrior set up that they made on their back porch with all of the broken bunk bed pieces. its super cute and majorly creative, if I do say so myself:) they are working up a sweat out there, so she and I come back upstairs with the babies and let them play with the train set while we chat. I forget that I didn't grab a loaf of bread out of the freezer for sandwiches today, so I grab one on my way back upstairs. its hot and muggy out, so I just put it outside on our porch to help the thawing process along. ill have some hungry kids in a few minutes!

12:45 whitney and eli leave and I sweep off the front porch while my kids are hugging and waving and hollering their goodbyes. jos and Adalyn help me make all of the sandwiches. Adalyn cant remember if she had her sweet drink for breakfast or not and she is trying to convince me to let her have some lemonade. we let our kids usually only have one "sweet drink" per day, (lemonade, juice, Gatorade is usually all that we would have here..) and after they have that, they can only have water. I know, I know.. mean parents. I get the kids situated with their sandwiches, chips and apple slices (except for himmy.. he always wants a banana) and I start making me a baked potato for my lunch. I look back at the kids and see ella kate squirting caramel drizzle over everyone's plates.. sneaky girl. everyone made a happy plate, though! the kids thought that ella kate's plan was the best thing ever!

1:04 I finally sit down and eat my potato as everyone else has been excused.. but Adalyn and titus stay and help me eat it. i send them downstairs to play and I wipe off the table and sweep the floor. there is sticky jelly and caramel on the floor that I mop up with a paper towel.

1:27 the playing soon turns into crying, so I take a load of clothes downstairs to wash. the kids have brought Ninja Warrior into their rooms and the little boys are getting hurt. I take titus into his room and change his poopy diaper. I rock him in his chair when he shouts for ella kate to come and bring him his cup. rotton boy:) that baby LOVES ella kate! he asks me to sing "abcdefg" and "jesus children". I sing those to him and I also sing "sunshine" then I kiss him and lay him down. he looks at the cars and animals in his bed and asks me, "who make a mess?" then he smiles and says, "titus make a mess!"

1:30 I walk into the boys room where all of the kids are and ask them why its a disaster. they dont come out of their rooms in the morning until 8:15 and until their beds are made and toys are picked up. so I knew that it was already clean and now it looks like a tornado hit.

1:32 I walk upstairs to my room to update this post 

1:45 all of the kids come up and tell me that the room is clean. I get them each started on some school and make levi lay down on my bed. his little body is tired and I cant handle the tears today. the big girls ask if they can take their school work down to their room and jos and Adalyn stay upstairs and do theirs with me. (when it is too hot to play outside, and I wont let my kids play on electronics or watch tv all day... school is the next best thing!) we always have school workbooks ready to do. the kids love it and I love that they have some quiet and alone time.

2:25 levi kept telling me that he wasn't "berry tired", but now he has been snoring on my bed for a few minutes. I check their school work while Adalyn plays barbies beside me and the big kids are playing quietly in the girls room. I actually hear the radio playing so I pray it doesn't wake up titus. I forgot that I had my straightener plugged in and I need to straighten my freshly washed hair (it only gets washed twice a week! haha!) while I am straightening my hair, Adalyn runs into my bathroom and bends over and says, "did I wipe myself good, momma?" I kid you not... my life is nuts!

3:00 I switch over the laundry and decide to paint my toes. I have little shadows who can hear the nail polish box from a mile away, so they sneak in and we all get pedicures. jos complains about not having anything to do.. its always someone's job to say that! his boredom disappears when we spot a fox out of the bedroom window:)

3:40 daddy is home!! and he brought me a frosted lemonade from work which gives him brownie points! the nails are drying and the kids put on a 3 little pigs video to watch til naptime is over. daddy curls up on the couch with miley and takes a little nap. ek, jos and Adalyn are snuggled up on the other couch and I finish up some more laundry.

4:00 I wake up levi from his nap and snuggle him for a few minutes on my bed. he is super sleepy still, so he just wants to lay there while I go downstairs to get titus up. I grab ty's stack of laundry to put away when I get into his room. he is laying in his bed sucking his thumb and twirling his hair when I walk in. he greets me with a "hey momma! I no go night night." I pick him up and we hear levi coming down the stairs so we hide behind the bedroom door. he sees us and we end up scaring each other:) I walk by the bathroom and see that someone left a prize in the potty, so I go ahead and flush that down since my kids apparently don't know how to do it. titus is still super snuggly and doesn't want me to put him down, so I hold him and hold levi's hand and we walk back upstairs to see everyone else.

4:25 we walk into the kitchen and levi helps me stir the meat in the crockpot. titus still doesn't know that daddy is home, so I walk over to the couch with him so he can see him sleeping. titus goes over and kisses him and daddy opens his eyes and says, "happy birthday!" (he and titus always play this game and titus LOVES it!) he giggles and bill holds him while I get more of the supper ready. ek asks if she can help me cook. Adalyn and levi are also helping me. we make some brown rice and the kids help me open the corn and get that in a pot. the girls are helping me stir while levi is helping me unload the dishwasher.

5:00ish I start making plates and the kids get their cups ready. Adalyn brings the utensils to the table and ek helps me bring the plates of food. Josiah asks if he can say the blessing. we all sit to eat and talk about our day. daddy had a good day at work and the kids were talking about all they did. (although it has pretty much been a boring day) its just always fun to sit and eat together and laugh and talk... even if our days were boring.

5:25 everyone is done and had seconds and some had thirds before I got to eat my plate, but such is the life of a mom:) and now we are cleaning it up! miley starts washing the dirty crockpot, Adalyn wipes off the table and the floor and ek is helping me put the scraps of food onto a plate for the raccoons:) everyone chips in and it gets clean fast.

5:33 we all (as a family) sit at the table and play the game, PieFace. we went through 3-4 rounds of all of the kids having a turn and they all got the whipcream on their face and loved it. I love to hear them just laugh and laugh. we clean up from that and I start making a bath. the kids are running around the house like wild Indians and then I spy sweet Adalyn under the table mopping up the splattered whipcream off of the floor(unprompted) and I give her a special treat (a cow tail candy) for going above and beyond. jos goes and gets the pajamas for the boys and brings them up and ella kate gets them for the girls.

5:50 levi is on the potty shouting for someone to wipe him:) he tried to wipe himself.. but it got everywhere.. gag! he is the first in the tub and after I change titus' poopy diaper, he goes in with him. they come out, then the girls gradually come in and I help wash hair and when they are out, poor Josiah gets in. he sometimes takes showers but tonight he wanted to "soak in the tub". :) not really something that I would want to soak in.. gross!

6:29 everyone is in jammies, bill is in the shower and the kids are having a dance party to Justin timberlake's new song. they just cant get enough and they love it! im contemplating making cookies for a surprise dessert but I am so pooped that I am leaning more towards an early bedtime. we shall see!

7:30 the dance party turned into hide and seek which turned into drama... so its bedtime!! we brush teeth and say prayers and everyone gets tucked in tight. I tell them they can read in their beds until 8:00.

8:15 I go and check on all of the kid and they are all OUT except for himmy. I guess his nap gave him a little pep tonight. I kiss him and fix his covers and he tells me that he loves me and I am the berry best mom ever! he tells me to tell daddy that he loves him too. I put more laundry in the dryer while I am down there and come back upstairs and get ready for bed myself. bill is working on the schedule for work and I look at the bed, bath and beyond flyer that came in the mail. its not looking too exciting tonight, so I will probably end this here.

our day in the life wasn't as busy as it could be, but im sure I will want to remember what a slow and boring summer day was:) I am so thankful for my sweet family and so thankful for this life! what a sweet one it is!

Friday, March 11, 2016

how is it already march?!

time flies.. yet crawls at the same time. how is that possible?? the kids are growing like weeds and are just as cute as ever. the bigs are THRIVING in school and I am so happy and so proud of them. the littles are cute and fun and I have enjoyed spending some alone time with them. people at church refer to Adalyn and Levi as the "little old married couple". they are in the same class, and he just wonders around and she bosses his every little move.. and he does just what she says :)

 titus is growing so fast! he can sing his ABCs, You Are My Sunshine, Jesus Loves Me and he can count to ten. all thanks to his big siblings. its crazy how much they pick up from big sisters and brothers. he also says, "booty, hiney, poopy, tootie.. and other "potty talk" that my kids think are hilarious.
one of my kids hopped in the car the other day after school and was talking about the planets. I tried to explain a way that I was taught to memorize the planets in order when my child interrupts me and says, "uhh mom? you know... pluto isn't a planet anymore. I think it was stolen... by like the Indians or something.." wha?????

then in the same car ride, another kid said, "mom, did you know that there was such a thing as a bald headed eagle?! well, apparently there are lots of them and its the bird of America!"
another funny: man on the radio says, "Jesus is the answer to everything." miley in the backseat, gazing out of the window and completely serious, " oh, wow! so 10+10= Jesus?? I always get stuck on that one!"
Levi is our prayer warrior. he and Adalyn wont let us EVER forget to pray with them at night and I love it. although, I sometimes don't love hearing him thanking God for every little thing in his room and in his brain after 15 minutes, but I pray that he is always willing and ready and LOVES to pray. one night he prayed this: dear hebbenly fodder, fank you for dis day. help mommas neck to feel better, please send us da snow again. it was cool. fank you for alllllllll my brudders and sisters and please give us anudder baby. A-ME-UN

another cute quote: miley:"hey dad! guess what? I won second place at the goofy glasses contest tonight at church! its a good thing I didn't come in third, cause that would NOT be cool!" Josiah interrupts: "uhh miley? there were only 2 people in the contest!" haha

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

christmas 2015

 Christmas is still so easy and fun with my kids. They love looking at the lights and Titus gets SO excited when he spots them while driving down the road. "Yights! Momma! Dah-yee! Wow! Pitty!"
Josiah got a DS game, lots and lots of legos (his jam!) and an awesome BB-8 robot. Adalyn was thrilled with her Barbie and Chelsea dolls/clothes, make-a-face sticker book, and fake nails.
 Ella Kate really wanted a guinnea pig for Christmas and new that we would say no, so she wrote Santa a note at school to send to him and bypass us altogether. She ended up getting a toy talking bird and was thrilled. She also got from her Nana Nan's Christmas a polaroid camera (that she squealed and jumped up and down about!) a mermaid tail (more squealing!), and lots of other goodies and toys/dolls/clothes from Mimi.
 Pie Face is the cutest game. My kids love it and Nana Nan was a good sport and played it with them. Miley got some fake nails, an 18" doll, lots of Barbie and doll clothes, a mermaid tail, and a toy turtle.
 Levi got a LeapPad and tons and tons of bug things that he loves. He also got some Paw Patrols and other animal toys.
 Titus was thrilled with his new sippy cup and balls. He was fun to watch :)
 Christmas in our new mountain house was fun! God's creation is an amazing thing. We are thankful for this season that we are here, and even more thankful that He came to Earth to save us! It is sooo easy to get caught up in the hoopla that the world wants us to believe about Christmas, but it really is ALL about HIM!

 In true Davis Fashion, we put our tree up before Halloween and have thoroughly enjoyed it in our beautiful mountain house. The kids were praying for snow, but we managed to have record Highs for Christmas while it was FREEZING cold over Halloween.
 I LOVE handmade ornaments. my tree is covered in them! However, since Adalyn and Levi aren't in preschool anymore, we decided to make some at home. They loved it and asked to make "crafts" everyday. we were busy almost daily making things, but these are some of my favorites. The big kids brought some ornaments home from school and I will cherish these forever!

another year..

Well, today is my birthday. It has been hard for me to accept the fact that my twenties are gone. Im not sure why turning 30 was such a big deal for me, but now I want to fully embrace turning 32! To be honest, 31 was a hard year. There was a lot of growing, stretching, learning, trusting, faith building, character molding, trying and hard times. But looking back, it was also a year of God's faithfulness. He worked in ways this year that only He could, and He is good. So, so good. It is so easy to look at a circumstance and wonder where God is in that minute, but when you take a step back and look at what all you have gone through, it is so obvious that He was there and carried you through, so why would He stop now? I am such a slow learner. So thankful that He is patient with me, and loves me despite my worry and lack of faith.
With each passing day, I am realizing how fleeting life is. Just in this year, we have lost a handful of precious family members and friends. So I am thankful for another birthday and another day that was denied to so many. But I also want to be better.. be a better version of myself. I am not all that God has called me to be and while I know that our life is a race that wont end until we are called home, I want to endure and finish well. "Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last." -CT Studd
I am a blessed girl who is SO undeserving of all of my gifts! My husband, my children, my parents, my sisters, my mother in law, my family and friends.. they are precious to me and given to me for a short while. I am living the dream, and don't want to take a single day for granted!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Copy and paste update!

We have had several people checking in and asking for an update, and while we are trying to reply to each one, I figured it wouldn't hurt to make a blanket post so everyone could see. First off, we are so thankful for everyone who has prayed for us and stood along side of us during this journey. God has been so good and has taught us so much during these hard times and we are so thankful to have faithful friends who have shown love to us in ways we know only God could do. Last Christmas, I started passing out/blacking out. It came out of no where and with no explanation. I started seeing a neurologist and he thought I was having seizures. I had an MRI, eeg, tons of blood work and they were able to see that my brain was completely normal and no seizures were occurring. He said that I was probably massively fatigued and highly stressed. Months went by and the passing out/blacking out kept happening. Bill's company closed and he was jobless for months, then it got to where I was having these episodes 3-4 times a week. Still, thinking it was stress related, we paid no extra attention. He found an amazing job out of town and started immediately and was gone for a couple weeks before he came home and we packed up and moved to the mountains with him. We had car issues, house issues, he was working a lot and I was still having episodes. I remember waking up from one of my episodes one early morning on the hard kitchen floor in our new mountain house when I told God that I couldn't do this anymore. I never passed out while holding one of the kids and it never happened when I was sitting. Almost always when I had just stood up, bending over, squatting.. But that morning when I fell on the kitchen floor, I made up my mind that this wasn't stress anymore. It was not normal.. Almost dangerous and I was tired of doing it. I called my dr and he was shocked to hear that it was still happening. (I hadn't really been telling anyone that they were happening like they were. I had to be strong.. I didn't want to whine or complain. My husband had a lot going on at his new job and I couldn't worry him with this and my parents were missing us and worried about me already, so I couldn't tell them and have them worry anymore.) I saw my neurologist in Augusta one last time and he had no answers, however he noticed some buldging in my neck and said that I needed to get an ultrasound of my thyroid immediately and preferably that same day. I left his office, went and had the scan done, received a new car that would get me and my babies up our road to our mountain house (thanks to my amazing family!!) and then had to head back to Clayton. My family dr called me the next day and said that the scans didn't look good and I needed to have a biopsy pretty soon and set up appts with an endocrinologist in Augusta and my neurologist was referring me to see a cardiologist to see if my heart had anything to do with my episodes. I met with a cardiologist about an hour away from my mountain house and he ordered several more tests. I had an ekg and Echo which were both perfect, I wore a heart monitor for 2 weeks and also had a tilt table test and tons of more blood work. When I saw him a few weeks ago, he was dumbfounded that I was able to fully function based on my heart monitor results. I have really low blood pressure and a normal resting heart rate (60-70) but everytime I was having an episode, my heart rate would jump to the 170s. My blood pressure would remain super low which would basically confuse my brain and it would shut down for a few seconds and that is when and why I would pass out. He is somewhat diagnosing me with POTS syndrome, although he isn't fully convinced with my heat rate almost tripling in those moments. He also put me on a low dose of Beta blocker and told me to decrease my water in take and triple my salt intake. He also said that the beta blocker may make my blood pressure even lower (which we can't afford for that to happen) and if it does, then I will need to take something raise my blood pressure (but that may make my heart rate increase and increase the frequencies of my episodes.) however, I am a perfect candidate for a Pase maker and although that is the worst case scenario, it will not be the end of the world:) I have been on the beta blocker for a little over 2 weeks, so I'm not sure if we can tell a difference yet. (However, I have still blacked out in the mean time..) and back to the thyroid... I had surgery 10 days ago to remove the left side. It had the biggest, most alarming nodules and while I was open, they did a frozen biopsy on them to see if they were malignant and if so, they would remove the right side as well. The immediate results came back benign so they left the ride side in and sewed me back up. However the dr did notice some smaller fiberous places on the inner left lobe that he sent off to have further testing. He called me on Sunday and said that all of that came back as cancer. He thinks he got it all and we would just have to watch it and have lots of scans to look for change and if there is anything different at anytime, then he would go in and take the right side. Or he offered to go ahead and bypass all of that and take out the ride side now. Whether it has cancer or not. Bill and I have been praying about this decision and I have a strong desire and peace to go ahead and take the right side out now. I am scheduled for November 16, and although they have said that recovery will be much harder the second time seeing as though I was just cut open, I still feel like this is the right thing to do for me. I still have cardiologist appts coming up but overall, I feel good. God has stretched me more than I could have ever imagined this summer/fall. And at times it was unbearable and extremely hard. But He is faithful.. So very faithful! And he has blessed us with the most amazing families and friends. Yall have shown us love and generosity and truly been the hands and feet of Jesus. He has moved mountains for me.. Just in the past few weeks.. If you only knew what my God has done. I don't deserve His goodness. Nope, not one bit! But yet, he still loves me and blesses my socks off. Thank you all who have prayed for us.. Please continue to do so! And thank you for the notes, gift cards and meals! I know it's hard Because we are here, there and yonder... But thank you just the same. My surgery will be in Augusta and I think Bill will remain up here in Clayton so he won't have to miss work and the big kids won't have to miss school.. But all of those details can be worked out later:) 
If you made it this far, you deserve a pat on the back. I'm not even going to try and proof read it.. So forgive my misspells and wrong punctuation. Love yall! 

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

im a slow learner..

hi there ol' blog of mine! I feel like there are just not enough hours in the day to keep up with this blog, but it pains me to think of never writing on it again. I absolutely LOVE looking back over the years and how much my babies have grown, reading about all of the funny things they have said, and being reminded of how faithful God has been in my life.
we had an eventful yet amazing summer that I need to catch you up on-- levi turning 3, 2 beach trips, bill losing his job, our 10 year anniversary (thank you jesus for this marriage!), surprise cruise to the Bahamas, Disney world, bill getting another (even better!) job, a move 3 hours away from home, Josiah turning 8, putting my kids in public school, ella kate turning 9, titus walking, and so much more! God blessed us more this summer than we could have ever imagined.
I have heard this quote so much lately and it has proven to be true over and over. "God is never late, and seldom early, but he is always on time". when we moved to north ga, we searched high and low for a house to rent. we could only find 7 that were in our budget. 5 of them told us that we had "too many kids" and they didn't feel comfortable renting to us. 1 was a small 2 bedroom house but its price was our maximum budget and then there was this 1 house that was beyond perfect. it is 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, clean, updated, had the most spectacular and breathtaking views that I have ever seen and was on the low end of our budget. however, there was this one little problem-- it was pretty high up and smack dab on the side of a mountain. there are 2 warnings on the gravel road leading to the house that says, STOP 4 wheel drive only. and we have a mini van and a punch bug:)
we really felt that God was leading us to this house and it was confirmed through some family members. bill had been living away from us for a few weeks while he started his new job and we were desperately longing to be together. we took a HUGE leap of faith and signed the lease for the mountain house and moved in. after a week or 2, bills punch bug broke down and the borrowed 4WD suburban that our sweet friends so graciously let me borrow had also broken down. we were stuck with only our van which could seldom make it up the mountain to our home. several times we got stuck and the kids and I had to walk all of the way up the winding, steep gravel (in tears) to our home. other times, we had to get towed by friends. it was yet again, a time in my life (just like in us finding a house) where I doubted God's provision. I'm so ashamed to even type those words. I know God. I know He loves me. I know that He has a plan for me and for my family. He has never left me nor forsaken me. why on earth do I struggle with doubt?!
And right on time he blesses us again! my God-fearing, loving and extremely generous family felt led to help us out. they searched high and low for an 8 seater 4WD. they traveled miles upon miles looking for the perfect car for us to help us in our time of need. I was blown away by the faithfulness of God (yet again) and the thoughtfulness of my giving family when they showed me the new expedition they bought for us. at this point, I wouldn't have cared if it was a school bus! I just needed a vehicle that would hold all of my kids and that would get me up the mountain to our house. I am so grateful for them and grateful to God for using them to provide for us.
so here I am again, worrying and doubtful about another situation. it baffles me that I am such a slow learner. I have been dealing with a few minor health issues, that are now turning out to be more serious than I have been willing to accept. my passing out/blacking out episodes that I have been dealing with since Christmas have not gone away. they are accompanied by some pretty major headaches that I have almost daily. since the move, I tend to black out 3-4 times a week (main reason we aren't homeschooling right now). I saw my neurologist again last week and he isn't sure exactly what is causing this. he did however find some nodules on my thyroid that he wanted to have scanned, as well as refer me to a cardiologist to check my heart and see if that could be causing the black outs. after I had my sonogram of my thyroid they saw several solid masses which were a little worrisome (due to the fact that my mom had this exact thing happen to her at the age of 31 and her's was cancer). again, I find myself thinking the worst and wondering where God is in all of this. I cant listen to the enemies lies any more. he is out to kill, steal and destroy and my God is FOR ME, NOT AGAINST ME. he didn't bring me up to this mountain top to leave me hanging high and dry. he has a plan. he is so faithful.
so I am writing this down, so I can come back in a few weeks with an update of how yet again, he has rescued me. because I know that he will.
"they do not fear bad news. they confidently trust in The Lord to care for them." psalm 112:7

Friday, May 8, 2015

titus is one!

titus franklin.. friendly frank.. baby ty.. my last little baby... how in the world are you one?!?!
 I cannot even believe how fast this year has flown! I am so glad that God decided to bless me and daddy with your sweet little life! what a precious boy you are!!!
you have the bluest eyes (you got them from your poppa and nonny!), a set of sweet dimples like your big brother Josiah, some crazy curly blonde hair like big sister miley, which you LOVE to twirl like your big sister Adalyn, a sweet little nose like big sister ella kate, and a love for creepy crawly critters like big brother Levi.
ok.. maybe that last one is a stretch. you may grow up and realize that you detest those nasty things, but right now you love to squeeze them, pinch them and let them crawl over you. eek!
you are rough and tough.. strong and loud. you know what you want and you wont back down. you LOVE sucking both of your thumbs, twirling your hair or YANKING the hair of whoever is holding you.
 you could (and do!) eat veggie straws, hot dogs and strawberries every single day. you are crazy about mimi and have a sweet spot for yaya.. you love to wave bye-bye , say momma and no-no and you LOVE to play BOO! Josiah knows how to make you SO happy, and levi gets the best laughs out of you. your sisters are crazy about you and are always kissing you, singing to you, dressing you up with hair bows and calling you Heidi :)
you love to dance and do hand motions to the kids' songs in the car... and speaking of car, you hate, hate, hate car washes!! you just had your first experience with nana nan's pool and you loved it! splashing and giggling.. so much fun! you are a busy boy and you want to be down and in the action at all times.. although there are a few teeny tiny moments when you want to cuddle momma!
I am so thankful for your life and for your healthy and perfect first year! I know that God has big plans for you, and I am so excited to see them unfold! being your momma (and your brothers' and sisters') is one of the greatest joys this world has to offer. happy birthday my sunshine! we love you more than you will ever know!