Thursday, April 18, 2013

I love my babies

Can I just say that I love my kids?? Like, I'm completely head over heels, totally smitten and overwhelmed by God's goodness when I look at their beautiful faces! Sure, they drive me to the brink of insanity. There are moments when I feel that if I hear the word "momma" one more time, I will blow a gasket! The constant tattle-telling, whining and bickering makes me crazy and the ever present poopy diaper gets old every now and then..

But when I stop and look at them... Really look at them, and see them for what they truly are.. My heart overflows! They are GIFTS!! They are God's precious babies and despite my shortcomings and failures, He chose ME to be their momma. What an honor!

However, I fail them everyday. I snap at them, lose my patience, miss golden opportunities to share and talk with them because of the "inconvenience" it may be at the moment, and yet.. They still love me!

They think I am the greatest mom that ever was. I am their best friend, their encourager, their comforter, their biggest fan, their challenger, their nurturer and everything else that I always dreamed I would be. I am totally living the dream! "I am by no means a perfect momma, but I am perfectly THEIR momma."- I think I read that somewhere.

All I ever wanted to be (besides a snow cone lady) was a momma, and I am so thankful that God chose this path for me. The love of a child is unlike anything I have ever experienced! Bill and I are so blessed!

We get a lot of snarky remarks and crazy looks when we go places. Just this week, I took all 5 kids to the grocery store and within 5 minutes, I had several people say, "bless your heart!" "You sure do have your hands full!" "Do you know what causes this?" "Are y'all catholic?" "Are y'all done?"

It used to bother me... The looks that we would get and the comments they would say, would always be right in front of our children. My kids never put two and two together... But I always prayed that they would never see themselves as the "burdens" and "inconveniences" that people thought they were.

"Children are a gift from The Lord; they are a reward from him." (Psalms 127:3 NLT)

I wish that people would see them as gifts and rewards. I wish that having a bunch of kids wasn't so shocking and dare I say it... Stupid! I was talking with a friend of mine (who has 6 kids) and she was reminding me that we all are going to invest our time, money and energy into something in this life. Why not invest in little souls that are eternal?

If a friend of mine buys an expensive car or a brand new boat, I'm not going to tell them they are crazy. So then, if we decide to have more kids, why do people feel the need to tell us that we are crazy??

We are doing our best to live the life that Christ has called us to live. And if he calls us to have 5 kids and adopt 5 more, then we will GLADLY take on the responsibility!
We'll just need a bigger car:)

I read an article the other day and LOVED it. Here is a snippet: "I'm not having kids to re-populate the earth, I’m having kids because I love them. Yes, I will have a few more years of diapers and crying babies at night, but the rewards are many! Children are our hope and future, not our burden."

However, I think we have also shocked some people with their obedience. I think children nowadays are considered unruly and wild. (And some are!!) Kids, in general, have a bad reputation and why on earth would you want a bunch of wild Indians??

Our kids are human, just like us. They are sinful and in need of a savior!! I, by no means, am trying to come across like I have it all together... Because I DON'T! I am so blessed to have a rock solid husband who encourages me to stay consistent with discipline. He is so amazing. He is strong when I am not and he is ready when I am tired. He loves The Lord, he loves me and he loves our children.. What a man:)

I have spent many days crying on the bathroom floor asking God when I would see the fruits of our love and discipline. I expected my efforts to provide me overnight with little army children who never raised their voices or talked out of turn. They would sit quietly with their hands neatly folded in their lap and only speak when spoken to. They would look for opportunities to share their favorite toys and willingly GIVE the last purple Popsicle to their sibling. Manners would continually flow out of their mouths, their rooms would stay spotless, their chores would magically be done without huffing or puffing and they would never, EVER ask for a reward for doing the "right" things. They could look out each other's car windows in peace, breathe each other's "air" and sing songs in perfect harmony. They would always encourage each other, never talk back and never, EVER say potty words.

But it was then that I felt God reminding me that they are CHILDREN! They have energy! They need to run and jump and get loud at times. They have bad days and short fuses... Just like me. They struggle with controlling their tongues.. Just like me. They have a hard time sharing.. Just like me. My morning breath is just as stinky as theirs and sometimes I want to throw myself on the floor kicking and screaming when things don't go my way - hence the "crying bathroom scene" I was currently in.

Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives. (Proverbs 19:18 NLT)

I have totally been "that mom" who has left a buggy full of groceries in the grocery store aisle to go and discipline a screaming Davis child out in the car. I have had not one, but TWO children have huge meltdowns at a local park at the same time. I have had to pull the car over on the side of the road to ask for the forgiveness of my children through my tears for my sinful behavior many, MANY times. And I am sure that they will fail me again and I will fail them again, just like I fail God. But I am so thankful that "The Lord can always be trusted to show mercy each morning." (Lamentations 3:23 CEVUS06)

We go out to eat at a restaurant about once.. Maybe twice a month. It has become almost a consistent thing where someone will come up to us and say something like, "When we saw you walk in with all your children, we were nervous. But we became pleasantly surprised to see how well behaved they were!" Now, this isn't always the case. My kids have totally acted a fool before at a restaurant. But, if I dwell on the negative then I will miss the opportunity to encourage them with the positive.

Recently, I had a friend post this on my Facebook wall..
"By chance were you in Target today with your hubby and kids? Long story short, a friend of mine was talking about a family she saw in there with 5 kids and talked about how incredibly good the kids were being and she just kept bragging and bragging. I asked her how old the kids were and then she told me what the mom looked like and I immediately thought of your family. When I described y'all she said it sounded like it was probably you! She could not believe how well behaved your children were and went on and on about them! I knew you'd want to know if it was you!!!" And wouldn't you know, we WERE at target that night! :) I read this to the kids, and they just beamed with pride! The Davis family is a work in progress, for sure! But I wouldn't want it any other way:) "Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father who created all the lights in the heavens. He is always the same and never makes dark shadows by changing." (James 1:17 CEVUS06)

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  1. Thank you SO much Kristen for sharing this!!! I really appreciate your honesty and struggles - I just want to hug you! (not because I feel sorry for you but just because I love where your heart is.) I have so much admiration for you... with only 1 baby, I have days where I feel like I'm barely holding onto that last thread of patience. I'll probably revisit this post over & over again when I'm needing some little mentality readjustments ;)

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  3. I love to see pictures of you and your children. They all seem to love each other so much! (I know this does not mean that they don't fight) But I have to say that it encourages me that it is possible! I hope that I can count on you for lots of advice in the coming years!!

    Also, Ella Kate looks JUST like you! It is unbelievable!