Thursday, July 8, 2010


ok, so i have written and deleted this post 17 times. i can't figure out what i want to say or how i want to say it.
bill and i lost our sweet baby this weekend. sad, sad day! we also had an early miscarriage in april, but no one really knew about it. we had 3-4 positive pregnancy tests then a couple of days later i started bleeding. so when we found out this time around, we wanted to wait a couple of weeks and make sure everything would be ok before we announced it. but, as soon as we did, we miscarried again. however, we can rest assured that the Lord has a plan for us. He has our precious family in the palm of His hand and promises to never leave, nor forsake us!
i am reminded of a verse that my sweet nonny would always quote.
john 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."
i am thankful that we do have a peace that we will meet our sweet babies one day! although it doesn't take away from the fact that we wanted to meet this baby on earth, we will meet him/her in heaven!
i told ella kate that our baby was in heaven and this was a snippet of our sweet conversation:
ek:"momma, why did our baby go to heaven? i don't want her to go to heaven! is she gonna come back?"
me: " Jesus was ready for our baby to go to heaven. and no, i don't think she is coming back, but i promise we will see our baby one day!"
ek: "is nonny holding our baby in a rockin' chair up in heaven?"
me:(with tears) "absolutely! i bet she is rocking our baby and kissing our sweet baby right now!"
ek:"how did our baby get to heaven? did Jesus come down this paff (path) and then into your heart and then got our baby out of your tummy, then gave her to nonny?"
me: (smiling) "uhh... something like that!" :)
i LOVE her innocence! obviously, josiah and miley don't have a clue about what is going on. but ella kate does, and she is asking a LOT of questions! we are praying for wisdom and guidance for her tender little heart.

1 comment:

  1. You don't know me, but I stumbled across your blog somehow. I'm a blog hopper that way. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you have a lot of courage to post this. I've lost two babies in the last 7 months and this is the most difficult parts of it. We shared with my 2.5 yr old son that there was a baby in my belly and he still thinks there is and asks me about it from time to time (at the most inopportune moments, it seems). That brings out a lot of the pain that you seem to stuff down when you are going through this and also dealing with everyday life with kids. I'm praying for you and your family for peace and understanding.