Wednesday, August 19, 2009

my nonny

ok.. i need to be honest with you people! i am really struggling with the fact of keeping up with the blog or letting it go! my heart is broken and i am at a complete loss right now. i lost my sweet grandma, nonny, this weekend, and well.. the blog just isn't going to be the same for me, knowing that she wont be reading it! one of my main reasons to blog was for her. my aunt would print it out at work and bring it home to her and she LOVED it! she would call me and tell me how much she enjoyed reading about the crazy mishaps at the davis house and although she lived far away, this blog made her feel like she was here with us. my nonny would go and sit with an elderly lady in a nursing home for hours and would read my blog to her. i remember one time she called me and said, "kristen, i was reading your blog to Alga and she squeezed my hand at the funny parts, and i know she heard me! i think it brightened her day!" or she would take it to prayer meeting at church and share some of the stories with her friends and they would all cackle in hysteria! she was so proud of us and she loved my babies!
i miss her so much, and it hurts so bad. i have never lost someone in my life that i loved as much as nonny. she was more than a grandma to me. she was one of my best friends, she was my prayer warrior, my rock, my encourager, my breath of fresh air, the person who always loved me, even when i was so unlovable. she was one of the greatest women who ever lived and i am so proud that i was able to call her my grandma. when i look back on her life, i cannot help but to think that she was as christ-like as they come. nonny was so selfless, so kind, so loving, so generous, so encouraging.... to me, she was perfect! i remember countless times of me telling her that i wanted to be just like her one day. and she would always respond, "oh, you don't want to be like your old nonny! just be like jesus!"
i tried to stay as close to her as i could, making sure that we talked on the phone every week and sometimes several times a week. we could talk about anything or we could talk about nothing, she was always ready to listen:) but i felt like i could never emphasise enough how much i loved her. i was extremely close to my nonny! in fact, i was closer to her, than i am a lot of my family. she and i were a team:) although she never showed partiality or favoritism towards any of her grand kids, she loved us all the same!
i never remember a time where we saw her and she didn't give us a prize! she was like our santa claus all throughout the year... giving us presents galore!! she loved sales and didn't pass up any good bargain:) it didn't matter if it was something that anyone needed or not, if it was on clearance.. she bought it:) my babies have definitely benefited from her bargain hunting! 90% of their toys all came from nonny, and we are grateful! i remember when bill and i were getting married, i told her i wanted her to be one of my bridesmaids. she laughed and said, "now, do you think i could get my big self in one of those slinky dresses?!!? being your grandma is the greatest honor, so just let me be that!!" of course i told her that she could do whatever she wanted:)
nonny has only been in heaven for 4 days now, and i have already tried to call her on the phone... forgetting that she wouldn't answer. i know that she is in a much better place with my grand daddy and she finally has gotten to see the face of god, and for that i am happy... but it doesn't take away the hurt and the loneliness of her absence. even now, as tears streaming down my cheeks, i am asking the lord for comfort and peace during this difficult time. my selfish heart wants her here and thinks she was taken too soon, but the lord's plan is perfect and i can trust in his word. i know that she will never be replaced and never be forgotten. my memories of her are so real and fresh!! i will always have little reminders of my nonny... birds (she loved the birds and had a bazillion bird feeders and bird houses), clean laundry (her laundry room smelled DIVINE! we used to try and bottle it up and take that clean air home with us! to this day, i have never smelled a laundry room like hers), pecans or any other kind of nut, jockey lots and flea markets, hamricks, richard simmons (as a kid my grandma and i would do 'sweating to the oldies' with my aunt, only nonny and i would do it while eating a big bowl of ice cream!), sprinkles, cheese, frosted shredded mini wheats, ruby red grapefruit juice, sharks teeth, the beach, gingerbread men, cheesecake (one year at christmas, she made us a cheesecake and forgot to add the sugar!!!) roosters, bojangles biscuits, ryans restaurant, juicefuls candies, werther's originals, citrus, calculator/adding machines, rain, v neck shirts (she HATED anything to touch her around her neck! she said she couldn't breathe!), butt shorts (it's a long story, but she loved practical jokes and pranks!), dancing with the stars (she loved mario lopez when he was on! she would always gush and tell me how cute his dimples were!), bosom pins, angels, kool-aid with pineapple juice, sewing (it was a hobby that both she and i shared! she would mail me cute fabric and buttons!), flower gardens, ice cream sandwiches, ambrosia, sweet tea in milk jugs, long walks in the cool air of fall, big piles of leaves, the smell of coffee... i could go on and on for days! i am sure in the days and weeks to come, she will be everywhere i look. something i see will be another reminder of my sweet grandma, and i will suck back the tears and thank god for giving her to us for as long as he did!
nonny, i love you bushels and bushels, and i can't wait to see you again!

7 comments:

  1. Stephanie GranthamAugust 19, 2009 at 4:47 PM

    You touched my heart Katie, with this blog. I hope that you keep posting to it daily or weekly in honor of your Grandma. She sounds like a wonderful woman and I am sure she would want you to continue to blog. Lean on your faith and let God comfort you in this time of tribulation and take comfort in knowing she is with Jesus and you will see her again someday.
    Psalm 55:22
    Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

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  2. kristen.. you have my crying over here!! love you and praying for you during this time of heart ache..

    i love your blog and i hope you keep it up! :o)

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  3. Kristen, what a sweet and touching tribute to your grandmother. She sounded like a wonderful lady and I know she will be missed! Praying for you during this difficult time!!

    Katie Martin

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  4. oh..kristen! You just broke my heart! Alan and I are praying for ya!
    <3 Carla Gay
    P.S. I so hope you keep up the blog! I stalk it regularly:) Your stories are so precious and Alan and I love reading them together :)

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  5. you were nonny's heart... we all miss her terribly, but i know you have a special little place missing. she was the best grandma and you were the best granddaughter. no regrets for you... you will see her soon enough. just keep picturing her in the green garden you told me about earlier. she is happier there than she ever could be here... and i just know she's rocking hershey as i type. i love you.

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  6. I really hope you will continue your blog. Not just for your readers by in honor and memory of your Grandmother. We all struggle with losing loved ones but life does not stop with that loss.

    You may think that she will no longer be able to read your funny stories so what is the use to continue. But since none of us have ever been to heaven for all we know God may have a huge computer and printer up there for your Nonny to still read your post. :O)

    My prayers are with you and I hope you continue what you started.

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  7. Please keep writing! I love reading about your hilarious kids and I tell their stories my own grandmother sometimes. She thinks EK is hilarious and reminds her of my little sister- too smart for her own good!

    I'm so sorry you are having to feel this pain.

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